Absurdity

My phone is shorted out.

My printer is shorted out.

The local Verizon outlet doesn’t provide insurance replacements (or speak English).

Office Depot won’t honor their insurance plan until the manufacturer warranty expires.

I’m going to lose my mind.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that the nearest Men’s Wearhouse had only 2 white shirts in my size and the registrar’s computer system keeps crashing when they try to print my transcripts for OCI. I have a migraine.